Changes!

Wow! Has it really been since the last part of June since I blogged anything at all. Trying to get into a new routine and change can be so hard. Hard for all of us at times. This past summer became a season for me to grow. A time for me to spend with my children and a time for me to reflect on my own life. God has been with me every step of the way through all of these changes that our family has been faced with. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who has supported me through it all. He knows me best sometimes and knows exactly what I need even before I know myself. I really thought that I could do the stay at home mom thing, and I really wanted to try to make it work. I prayed for patience, peace, & wisdom. God revealed those things to me sometimes when I least expected them. I was struggling with depression as I became a stay at home mom this summer. Many moms can do it, so I thought I could to, but truth is, I was struggling more & more than ever. I am so thankful for the time I spent with them, and I am so thankful for God revealing some areas in my life that I needed to improve on. In fact, seems like he shows me those daily, I just seem to ignore them. Often times when I pray for God's help, I never know how he will help me. I have my own ways that I think he should follow. So thankful he doesn't listen to me. It always amazes me how he cares & looks after me. If I would just give him more control, and allow his ways to become my ways. We were also struggling a bit financially with trying to raise three children. We started to pray about what we could do & what else we could cut from the budget. We soon realized our needs list was only getting longer. We started praying about whether I should return to work. We were not sure, since I have still been struggling with some health issues & Cara still small. I started praying for God to reveal his plan & in his timing. I started looking for a job and filled out my application online at the local hospital. Not really looking to hard just yet. Thought I would just do it & pray. I applied on Monday, received a call on Wednesday for an interview & went that day for it, and was offered the job the following day, then I accepted it on Friday. I really felt such peace through the whole thing, knowing God was still in control. Now as for the change part, we have been forced rather quickly to adapt to a new schedule just in time for school to start and for all of the activities that surround it. We pray that you will continue to pray for us as changes have came about so quickly for our family & that we may all ease into our new routine soon.

SPF 50 Protection

My husband just returned home from a trip to Walmart after purchasing our second can of aerosol SPF 50 Sunscreen. Wow! How cool! Wish I would have thought of that sooner. Last summer we had the kind that sprays on leaving a white spray, then you rub it in. This new can that he brought home doesn't even have to be rubbed in. You just spray it on whenever you need protection from the sun. Wow! Now I'm a busy mom, and anything that shortens my time of having to rub down my kiddos with sunscreen I am all for. Little did I know today, that the insides of my house needed to be protected from the sun. My 3 year old has managed to use an entire can of it all over my master bathroom. Oh, how there are many days I long for a little more protection. If I could protect my kids from many of the things of this world. If I could just grab that can at any moment and spray away the evil! I would be super mom! After all the can says "Protection for the entire family". As I sent my little boy off to kindergarten this past year, I sure didn't know the tough things he would face. He faced some bullying already at the young age of 5. Wow, my momma bear instincts would kick in many days and I sure wanted to protect him as I was dropping him off for school. I would give him a hug & kiss and say "I love you, buddy" & "Have a great day". I sure didn't know what kinds of things he would face that day, but I knew I could pray for him while he was there. I know there may come a day when he won't want me to give him those daily hugs & kisses as I drop him off. That can of SPF 50 can't protect my son or daughter from the evil one. We can only teach them the skills to equip them. Until that time, I will continue to pray for my children & for their protection from the evil one.

Pray for protection from the evil one in each area of their life-spiritual, emotional, and physical. John 17:15

Washable Markers

Seems as if summer is in full swing at our house. The kids somehow seem to be bored already. Keeping them occupied while I try to get supper ready sometimes can be a chore itself. We have nifty chalkboard placemats on our table to keep them busy as I try to focus on keeping supper from burning and the kids all at the same time. Last night I resorted to the stack of scrap paper to doodle on and markers when the fighting over the eraser for the placemats became an issue. My 3 year old decided to remove herself from the kitchen after telling her brother "I don't like you, your'e not sharing, I'm going to the other room!" Sometimes it's hard as a mom to distinguish when I should intervene and when I shouldn't. Thinking she was content, I continued making supper. Little did I know how content she was with that green marker. She must have had that "green with envy" feeling, I suppose. She made nice green circles all over the beige carpet and my beige couch. Beige carpet and couch were pre-kids might I add. I've been busily ever since try to remove what my daughter so nicely put on the two very large canvases. I have managed to get both of them to a lighter shade of green, but not permanently gone. It sure got me to thinking how grateful I am for the cross. He can take all my sin, and just wash it away. No magic eraser, clorox, or oxiclean. Gone! Not even the slightest stain is left behind. My heart knows I'm forgiven, but my head has a hard time remembering that the sin is "permanently" gone. I can't begin to tell of the many times I have failed as a wife, mom, daughter, or as a friend. One thing I do know is that I have a heavenly father who loves me, no matter how I have failed. I am so thankful he doesn't keep track of them either. For now I will just be content with my light shade of green carpet and couch as they are a reminder to me of his forgiveness when I see them.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Sock Drawer

Life always seems to be interesting at our house. Any moment God can bring a teachable moment. Sometimes those moments are for me and other times they are for my kids. It's lunchtime as usual at our house yesterday. Cailyn wanted dessert after lunch, not having eating hardly any of her lunch, Mommy said "No!". She was asking for a chocolate ice cream bar, Mommy again said "If you eat more of your lunch, then maybe you can have one." Cailyn said "No, and took off to our bedroom." As any mom would say, "that's your choice!" Brought so many thoughts to my mind at that moment. We are all given so many choices each day. Some are good and some are bad. Teaching my children how to make the right choices is hard each day when I find myself making poor ones at times. I must choose to make the most of each moment and make the right choices. Cailyn made a poor choice on her own, when not given a chocolate icecream bar. As Daddy pulled open his sock drawer this morning he found, a perfectly wrapped chocolate ice cream bar, melted. Daddy wasn't sure what to make of his treat left in his drawer. Mommy knew exactly when that chocolate bar might have been placed and why. Shortly after Cailyn left the kitchen, I heard the freezer door open, sure didn't know I would find out what choice she made until today. Those choices we make can also effect us now or later. Just as God is all knowing, so seems mommy at times to my children. Leaves me wondering what her thoughts were. God knows my thoughts before I ever think them. Sometimes that just overwhelms my mind.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways. Isaiah 55:8

Post-it Notes!

I recently became a stay at home mom, not by my plan, but God's. Sometimes God's plan is way bigger than mine. A friend told me the other day she wished God would just leave little post it notes everywhere telling her of the future or what will happen next. I love my little Cara, who is now 10 months old (our 3rd child, by surprise), but only if God would have left me that Post-it note of how she would change our lives. My husband and I struggled for 8 1/2 years with infertility then to blessed with 3 beautiful children. Caleb Matthew is 6 and will be in the first grade, Cailyn Marie is 3 and will go to preschool soon, and 10 month old Cara Madolyn. As I reflect back on those 8 1/2 years of pain and struggles of so desperately wanting a child that we thought we would never have. I am amazed at how God can bless me far beyond what I could ever imagine. He definitely knew what he was doing all along, and still does. He knew the next 8 years of our lives would be so busy that the 8 1/2 years my husband and I had together preparing for them would strengthen our marriage. Many nights when I climb into bed, well after the last load of laundry is folded and the dishes are done, he gives me a hug & kiss knowing that I am the mom of his 3 children and I get to do it all again tomorrow. No matter how tired or worn out I am, I do what I do, because I am a busy mom of three now and I know God perfectly planned it that way. He doesn't have to leave me Post-it notes, I just have to "note" who is control of my life each day.